Indiana Jones & The George Lucas Problem
Tuesday, 10 June 2008. Film.
To kick off, I’m not a huge fan of the original Indiana Jones trilogy. It’s not that I don’t like the films, I just would far rather sit down and watch The Mummy. The is probably my childhood fascination with Egypt showing through, but I obviously appreciate the legacy of Indiana on the adventure movies that have followed in the 20 years after the last instalment. That said, along with my Indy loving girlfriend we trooped off to the cinema, for about two hours of fedora and whip, tomb raiding fun.
Spoilers after the jump.
I won’t outline the plot here, firstly because I assume you’ve already seen the movie, and secondly because it is as poor and empty as a hungry hobo.
Alarms sounded within seconds of sitting down, when the opening titles proclaimed “Story by George Lucas”. I will no doubt come back to this subject at a later date, but for the moment it is enough to say that I don’t like George Lucas, and when it comes to making movies he should simply hand over his wallet and then bugger off.
Although age has clearly taken its tole on Indiana Jones, he is none the less able to survive a direct nuclear bomb blast, from the safety of a lead lined fridge, blown several hundred miles in high into the sky.
Cate Blanchett does a thoroughly suspect Russian accent that veers from Moscow and Guildford. Shia LaBeouf goes some way to rescuing his career after Transformers although he then undoes this good work by sighing on to the currently filming Transformers 2.
The magnetism of the crystal skull itself inconsistent. Sometimes it attracts coins and swords, sometimes it doesn’t. It appears that the skull is only magnetic, only when it is convenient for the plot.
Aliens Cometh
And now we come to the main problem. Aliens.
Some reviewers have complained that Indiana Jones suddenly went all X-Files on them. Well no, the X-Files is subtle, and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was anything but subtle with the fullscreen Star Wars CGI aliens. This is what I like to call the 'George Lucas Effect'. Shove in CGI and aliens to mask the plot... oh and a surprise father-son revelation. I now understand why the Star Wars fans got terribly upset about Jar Jar Binks.
My girlfriend left the cinema just repeating; “there were aliens... why were there aliens in Indiana Jones?”
However despite all of that, the film was not terrible. Plenty of action and the odd laugh, but considering the high calibre cast and director I can see why Indy fans were thoroughly disapointed. I quote the boyfriend of my girlfriend’s work college here:
There was no reason to make this film. There is no development, no worthwhile point. Gone is the dry humour, gone is the slapstick. Instead you have terrible gags that even The Chuckle Brothers would consider ropey. There are moments... moments where you think ti's going to get good. But then it quickly goes south. For about 20 mins the film feels like an Indiana Jones movie, then it just becomes a shambles. Aliens have no place in an Indiana Jones film. It's just total total crap.
Will Goldstone; Who Watches the Watchmen
It was just... well not very good. The Indiana heritage really required The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to pull off something far more memorable to set it above such imitations it spawned, like National Treasure, Tomb Raider, Sahara, The Da Vinci Code... and well yes The Mummy.
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